The Power of Women

In a perfect world women would all support each other. In a perfect world we would hold each other up when one of our sisters are down. But we don't live in a perfect world. We as women are sometimes our own and each others worst enemies. 

I remember once a friend was over and the monster came home in rare form, yelling and screaming and belittling me in front of her and finally slapping me across the face when I dared to speak back to him. I do not remember her saying much except telling me I should leave him quietly when he was in the other room and then getting up and leaving after he slapped me. What I do recall is the next day when I brought my children to school and saw her on the playground talking to a few other mothers. It was not compassion for my situation she was showing instead she was making jokes with the other women about how stupid I was. I was already shamed by the horror I was living in and I didn't see a safe way out at the time and now I was further shamed by the actions of someone I considered a friend. 

I know she couldn't save me I know I needed to save myself I know I was in a bad situation which I would one day crawl up from. I didn't need her to save me what I needed was a friend. I needed someone in my life to look beyond my situation and see me as a person, a human being not the stupid woman the monster told me I was. Her actions validated to me what he had told me all along. No one liked me, no one loved me, I was a worthless piece of shit and I was lucky he tolerated me. 

A few years later I would go to work at a new place and I would meet a group of women who would not judge me. These women without even knowing it helped me realize I was a smart funny beautiful woman with a lot to offer the world. They built my confidence by showing me kindness and friendship I forever will be grateful to these women for the jump start they gave me to a better life. 

As I have aged I try to be more mindful of the way I treat other women. I try not to judge them on appearance or circumstance. I try to put myself in their shoes and show them compassion. I am not perfect and sometimes find myself showing judgement rather then compassion and when I catch myself doing this I quickly reign the negative thoughts in and make it right. An amazing poet and friend wrote this beautiful poem about women although I can not publish it here as it is her work I can share my favorite line "If the statistics are 1 in 4 that means 3 should be holding each other up WE should be holding each other up." This not only holds true for victims of all kinds of violence against women but this holds true for all women. If one voice has the power to make a change in this world imagine what the roar of millions of women standing in unity can do to make positive changes in our world.