Did someone say sexual harassment?

A couple years back I was working the late night shift.

We get a lot of deliveries at night and I’m in charge of opening the doors to let them in.

The drivers love to gab since they spend a majority of their time on the roads so it’s typical for conversations to come about.

I let in this one vendor and he was just an odd duck. He starts talking to me and the conversation is just bazaar so I kind of just give him the polite nods and’ yeps’.

He then asks me if I have a boyfriend. I think to myself this is getting inappropriate but I answer yes I do. He then asks me “Do you and your boyfriend watch porn?”

I am so shocked, I flush bright red and tell him that’s none of his business. He then proceeds to keep talking about porn and how he loves to watch it and watching it with a female is just the best. I again ask him to stop talking. He didn’t and kept on going. At that point he was done and I asked him to leave.

I do not want to deal with this again. I do not want anyone else to have to deal with this so I decide to report it to my store manager.

Now as a woman it’s a nerve racking experience reporting sexual harassment. You always hear these stories about how it always gets turned around and somehow you are at fault. But this, there’s no way I am at fault. I did what I was supposed to by asking him to stop and the next proper step is reporting.

The next day, I take all morning to build up the courage and I ask my store manager if I can speak with him in private. We go into the office and I sit down, he remains standing. Clearly I’m nervous and this makes him nervous. I then say I would like to report sexual harassment. He looks shocked and exclaims “someone here!?” I tell him no it’s a vendor. He looks relieved.

I then tell him my embarrassing story. He listens and takes it all in and takes a minute to think. He then says to me, and I remember this like it was yesterday,

“Don’t take this the wrong way but you may want to reconsider the way you dress…”

ARE YOU BLEEPING KIDDING ME!!!???

I must have looked like I was slapped! And I had nothing to say but “What???”

He then says, now remember I am sitting down and he is standing, “Like right now, I can see down your shirt.”

I say to him, don’t you understand I am not at fault for sexual harassment and the main reason a lot of it goes unreported is because of comments like that!

At that point I got up and left. I never reported it to HR. I did confide in a female coworker, she was a couple years older than I was and she just seemed a natural at handling things like this. She is someone I to this day strive to be like. It was her that told off the driver and suggested he change his route. Nothing was ever done company wide. No disciplinary actions ever taken.

It just, went away.